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You Most Likely Experienced This Yourself, Especially in the Sports Industry

7/6/2020

 

By: Alana Meraz and Olivia Puttin

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Have you ever felt like you aren’t doing enough? Or like you haven’t succeeded? I’ve found myself in this situation many times during my career. This is a common occurrence for recent college graduates. Those who don’t have a post college job lined up but also those that landed a job or GA position that they don’t feel they deserve. There is a term for this feeling, imposter syndrome. 

“Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".” 

This is our social media creator, Alana’s experience. 

It was my sophomore year, I had just landed my first sports related internship with Phoenix Rising FC. I was on cloud nine, the team had just re-branded and were ready to take the state by storm. I had been involved with the Sports Business Association at ASU. I had attended a few meetings and was familiar with their members. One of them was a freshman named Alice*. She had already gotten a leadership position and landed an internship with the local MLB, which at the time was where I wanted to end up and a goal I was working towards. Seeing her accomplish all this before me, I felt maybe I wasn’t doing enough and that I wouldn’t end up working in sports like I had imagined. This feeling sat with me for some time until I landed my part- time job on the street team with the Arizona Diamondbacks. At that point I felt worthy and that I was taking a step in the right direction. But this same sensation of not belonging escalated during my time in grad school in Barcelona - I was in a program with all men and most were lawyers. I felt like I didn’t belong and had no place to be there, even though I did. I had filled out the same application, taken the same tests, and passed them all. But when I looked around the room, I felt like I didn’t belong.

It dramatically affected my performance in class and my experience overall. But at the same time I knew I was there to better myself and learn more about the sports world. Fast forward to now, I find myself feeling like I’m not enough. Granted I think part of it stems from the current climate of the industry with COVID. Part of it also comes from a place of seeing someone who is younger than you already being 3 steps ahead. But I always remind myself of what one of the Phoenix Rising staff told me: “Everyone is on their own path and there is a good chance someone wishes they were in your shoes. You have to take every opportunity you get and make the most of it.” I also often find myself second guessing my presence on social media. I feel that I shouldn’t give my opinion on something because I don’t know enough or haven't done enough. But the thing is I have, maybe I don’t have that full time job yet but I have my own experiences that make me unique. At the end of the day, I am working on becoming the best version of myself and a badass woman in sports. 

Like we said in the beginning, this is something that many people in the sports industry struggle with. Here is our co-host, Olivia’s experience. 

Three years ago, during my sophomore year of college, I set a goal for myself: to earn and accept a graduate assistant position at a school within a Power Five Conference. Would you believe I accomplished just that? For the next two years, I will be calling the University of Georgia home. It’s hilarious to me that even though I bleed Maroon and Gold, I will be sporting Red and Black, (Minnesota fans will get it). 

Although I make this feat sound easy, it was a rocky, difficult path. One filled with doubts, fear and anxiety. I still deal with these emotions today on a daily basis. For some reason, I’ve never thought I was good enough. There is someone who is always better than I am (to a certain extent that is true..) But, maybe to fill you in, I should start from the beginning. 

My love for athletic communication started my freshman year of college at the end of the scorer’s table at the University of Minnesota, Crookston. I was the official stat keeper and assisted the Sports Information Director for three years.to add onto this, I was also a member of the women’s soccer team, FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) and SAAC (Student-Athlete Advisory Committee). All of this combined made me extremely motivated to achieve my dreams. Then, the summer of my junior year and opportunity fell into my lap; an internship in the Athletic Communications Office at the University of Minnesota. 

I knew once I got this chance, I had to take it. I would be working for my favorite college team doing what I love. But, it was not easy. For a long time, I felt as though I was competing with the other interns in the office. I felt like I was never good enough, I always compared my work to theirs and thought they were so much better than me. I would constantly judge my work and think “how did I even get this internship? I’m not talented enough to be here.” I really thought everything I had done up to that point to earn my position wasn’t enough (or even real). I felt like I was a fraud. 

It didn’t help either that I was once again starting over in a new place with people who are extremely talented at what they do. You see, in these situations I shut down and close myself off from others. I become introverted and lose confidence in myself. 

However, I knew I needed to push myself to learn new things and become better at what I wanted to pursue a career in. I signed up for more events, asked more questions and tried to get to know as many people in the office. More importantly, I asked for help. The SIDs, interns, and social media coordinators that work in the University of Minnesota Athletic Communications Office are the best in the business and whenever I needed help, they were always there to help me. These things helped me gain my confidence back and made me realize that I shouldn’t compare myself to others constantly. We are all on our own path and we all experience different things. 

Even though I still deal with imposter syndrome (and probably always will) I always remind myself that I worked really hard to get to where I am. Everything I have up to this point I have earned by myself. And yes, there are always going to be people who are better than me, but I only use that as motivation to work harder and be a better SID, a better person, and a better Olivia. 
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We wanted to share our experiences with those in the industry to know they’re not alone and to remind you that you are a badass man or woman in sports! 


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