Burnout in Sports: A Long Journey of Growth, Reflection, and Accepting Help.

By: Sydney Large

As young professionals we’re told we have to grind, work harder, and be better than our peers to earn our dream jobs in sports. The grind is part of what makes working in sports fulfilling. We all love the fast paced environment of working in sports, otherwise we wouldn’t do it. The constant, putting fans first, and constantly functioning at 100% can take a toll after a while. 89% of our twitter poll respondents have experienced burnout during their time working in sports, especially young professionals.

I began my career working in sports during high school and knew I wanted to work in the industry. I set my goals high early, which helped and hurt me in the long run. Starting college at the University of Minnesota, I knew I’d do two things; graduate a year early and major in sports management. Two things stayed consistent my three years of college, I was a student athlete and I was taking 18 credits a semester (besides my final semester). What I didn’t know was the road of a lot of highs and lows ahead and how a complete mental breakdown would shape me into who I am today.  
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The Past 

I came into my freshman year sprinting. I worked 8 jobs throughout that year. I was actively involved with Super Bowl activities. I worked over 100 hours in 7 days and was on a complete adrenaline rush. I met so many great people that week and made valuable connections, I wanted to recreate that pure rush of energy from super bowl week every chance I got, so I picked up some more jobs and kept pushing. 

During this time, someone told me “to win you have to be better than everyone else.” 

The hyper-competitiveness in me was thriving. I was growing my resume so quickly compared to my peers. Everyone I met was so impressed on how much I was doing, and that made me feel really proud. I was winning from a career standpoint. Yet, I was unaware of a lot of things going on around my life. I didn’t realize I was treating my friends poorly, I hadn’t called my family in months, I didn’t have as much focus in rowing, and I didn’t have any other hobbies besides work. 

Rowing season ended in May, less than 24 hours after our final race I was on a flight to Beijing, China with 20 other sports management students who within two weeks turned into some of my best friends. China was a turning point for me. I realized I was way ahead of my peers and as one of 3 freshmen on the trip I realized my resume didn’t matter as much as finding things I was good at. However, I still striven to be the best. At this point, my only fear was failure. 

The summer between my freshman and sophomore year was relaxed. I worked as a camp counselor and was able to work the Green Bay Packers Training Camp Experience. Everyone that I worked with there was significantly older than me and I was constantly reminded that I was only 19 years old yet performing a job meant for people much older than me. During that event I learned the importance of going with the flow and learning from mistakes and failure. However, this time gave me just enough time to come sprinting into year two faster. I knew I could handle more than my peers and I felt invincible and needed to push myself further, so I picked up more than I could handle. I handled it. 

I didn’t know how to say “no,” I was now scared of missing an opportunity. I wanted to be involved in everything and be around as many people as possible. Despite stress controlling my life, I had a good social life and was happy. 
Final Four rolled around and I realized I was taking on too much, I couldn’t breathe, my heart was constantly racing and had a never ending calendar. Looking back on it all, I was still very stubborn at this point. I always had a plan and wanted to constantly stick with it. I was very aware of my goals and would do whatever needed to accomplish them, even if that meant being busy from 5:30 am - 10:00 pm, as that’s how most of my days went. 

That summer I traveled for 6 weeks straight starting in July through August doing on-site marketing at various professional tennis tournaments across the country. It was constant going, shifting, and changing. This was the first time in my life where I had a lot of time by myself. I was happy that I was doing so much, yet there was still something inside of me that was off. Being in a new city every week was taking a toll on me and I missed my family and friends. However, I was still learning a lot and slowly teaching myself new skills. 

As soon as I got back to Minnesota I did what I did every fall, I hit the ground sprinting. 

I had fewer jobs than previous years but working more hours than ever. I thought since I was working less jobs this meant cutting back, and I was oh so wrong. 

The Breakdown
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I was unhappy and lost. I wasn’t enjoying work as much as the past, I was unfocused, and I was burnt out. I decided to go into a lone wolf mentality. My extroverted self became very introverted, and I was hoping someone would notice, but no one did. 

I’ve never been an emotional person. I was a realist, I knew life had challenges and I had seen them first hand. However, I know life has a lot of positives and I’d always try to find the positives in each situation. I struggled to find the positives. I wasn’t just lost or burnt out, I was broken. I don’t cry often, but one week in October I was so destroyed that I cried for over four days straight and had a lot of concerning behaviors and thoughts. I just sat in my room shaking and sobbing as thoughts raced through my head and I felt like I had no control over myself and I closed myself completely off. 

Let’s just say a late night phone call with your parents while the police are sitting in your kitchen isn’t the best situation to be in. This was the beginning of a lot of change and growth. 

I had to learn who had my best intentions in mind. Thankfully, I found some of the greatest people ever and I figured out how to enjoy life with friends who care. After a long process, I learned how to do the same towards others too. I learned the first step towards fulfillment is being happy for other success. Somehow the athletic department was contacted regarding my situation and I am so thankful for the wonderful staff at the University of Minnesota athletic medicine department who set me up to meet with a sports psychologist.

The Process
I had to learn how to allow help. This was not easy for the overly hyper competitive and extremely stubborn version of me. I knew I was destroying myself, I didn’t realize I was hurting others, and I was broken. I had to learn how to be human. 

Fall semester kept rolling and I couldn’t think clearly. The only thing that was going well was rowing. I was able to put a lot of focus into that, as it’s something that helped save me through this process and was the only time I felt complete mental clarity. This mental clarity was something I was working towards in all aspects of my life. I learned that this was significantly more important than any adrenaline rush or being the best. 

I had to learn how to accept and feel emotions. I learned that it’s okay to cry every once in a while and that’s not a sign of weakness. I learned that it’s okay to be happy when other people are sad and the other way around. Learning how to feel my own emotions has allowed me to realize how other people feel emotions. I used to be a bit heartless, and couldn’t understand why people cried or were hurt over actions or things, because I was always too stubborn to let any pain get to me. Now I understand there are a lot of reasons why, and most people just need someone to listen. It’s so incredibly important to check in on people, as well as checking in on yourself. “Check yourself before you wreck yourself and others” is something that I’ve learned is incredibly important, especially in this fast paced environment of sports. 

The next step was looking into my past behaviors and realizing that I’m not perfect. For the longest time I believed I had to be better than everyone else to be successful. That old saying of “to win you have to be better than everyone else” had to be thrown out. I had to retrain my thoughts to be able to handle not being the best. This hurt so much because I had put such a high importance on that throughout my college career. Making mistakes and learning from failure can be the most beneficial thing. I was not perfect during my breakdown (and a lot of other things) and I have learned so much from looking back at past experiences and how they challenged and changed me. 

I was working on a lot of changes, and was heading into my third Super Bowl as spring semester rolled around. Super Bowl week was significant, as all of these lessons I was learning came together. Super Bowl week is such a unique experience because of how connected everyone is. That was the first time where I felt like I could trust people again. I was confident in myself yet still was compassionate with others while consistently checking in on myself and allowed myself to feel all of the emotions. I felt clear, I felt free, and I felt fulfilled for the first time in forever. 

Coming back to Minnesota after that experience I felt clear again, however I still hadn’t fully learned the concept of taking a step back and allowing room for a break. I had missed two weeks at my other jobs and felt guilty about it so I rushed into work full steam ahead. Looking back I should have allowed myself a few days to recover as for weeks after I couldn’t seem to catch up and was rushing on a lot of things, while being completely exhausted. 

I was very aware of how I was feeling and realized that I needed a break. Instead of pushing through I signed up for less shifts as work, I took a step back and I even went to visit my family for a weekend because I knew I needed that time. This was one of the first times I was fully aware of how I felt and acted on those feelings. I took a break. 

I started changing more leading into this global pandemic, which has forced me to come to a complete stop. I’ve taken an opportunity to do a lot of reflection and realize that I’ve never been perfect, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve hurt people, and I’ve been lost. However, there have been so many good things in my life, and most of the time it’s about finding joy in the little things. 

Three years ago coming into college I didn’t know where life was going to take me and I don’t know what the next three years are going to hold. What I do know is that there is going to be change. There’s going to be highs and lows and uncontrollable situations, but I know how to take a step back, reflect, reconnect, and then refocus. Change is inevitable, growth is optional.